I was running through my iTunes tonight looking for some good farewell songs, and I came across this one song I was in love with a half-decade ago. I haven't listened to it for a few years now, but the second I pressed play, all of the feelings and memories from my early twenties rushed to the forefront of my mind with amazing clarity. One memory stuck out immediately. I used to travel to Vancouver and visit my grandparents for a couple of weeks each summer, and this song was a cornerstone of one of those trips. When I discovered this particular track I was going through some pretty rough times. It was the height of my depression+anxiety, and I was making a lot of mistakes with friends, family, and love. I can remember feeling so completely lost at that time, my mind just couldn't figure itself out. That year in Vancouver I would let myself out of my grandparents place every night at around 2am. After a short walk to a bus bench, I would put this song on and listen to it on repeat while I observed the sleeping community around me. It was like I had the whole world to myself those nights, and I could be so completely at peace with everything around me. But it failed to block out the feeling of sadness I felt inside, and this song really spoke to that feeling. Just describing these events make them feel so recent, but at the same time those days feel like they happened a whole lifetime ago. Life has changed a lot since then. Pretty intense. I hope my grandparents know how much those summers saved my life. Having a safe place to go to for a week or two a year where I could be surrounded by love was so important. The talks we had and the experiences we shared will always be with me. Even a trip to Costco together back then made my day, I hope it made there's too.

Signing off,